Women can enjoy sex too!
A few weeks ago, I had a Tinder date. And by Tinder date, I mean he came over, we knew exactly what we were there for, and, well… let’s just say we got a solid 12 hours of cardio in. We cuddled, he drove back to the city, and I went about my day. No awkward goodbyes, no weird lingering vibes - just a simple, consensual night of fun.
Some people would call this "slutty behavior." But why is it that a man can have a high body count and get fist bumps from his mates, while a woman doing the exact same thing is labelled as a ‘slut’?
The Double Standard: Why Women Get Shamed for Enjoying Sex
Recently, the social media trend #WomenInMaleFields has gone viral. Women in male-dominated professions have been calling out the subtle (and not-so-subtle) sexism they face, often in the form of ridiculous comments from men who can't seem to handle women doing “their” jobs. But the trend has also taken a turn, with people using it to highlight the frustrating double standards in dating. Think: "I told him I really wanted to see him, after making zero effort to actually see him”. And it got me thinking about how this same double standard exists in the bedroom—or rather, in how people talk about the bedroom.
When a man has a high body count, it’s seen as a badge of honour. A ‘player’ is living the dream! But when a woman does the same? Suddenly, she’s “damaged goods” or “easy.” Never mind that she’s enjoying herself just as much as her male counterpart.
The Hypocrisy Is Exhausting
Let’s unpack this. Society tells men that sex is a conquest—something they should actively pursue. Meanwhile, women are taught that sex is something to be “given away” sparingly, as if our value depends on how many stamps are in our sexual passports. It's ridiculous.
As someone who has been sex-shamed for most of my adult life - including by partners who have labelled me a "sex pest" - this hits particularly hard. The reality is, I just have a high sex drive and that level of intimacy and trust is something deeply important to me when I’m looking for a partner. It’s not about being “too much” or wanting sex for the sake of it - it’s about connection, pleasure and feeling valued in a relationship.
The truth? Women like sex. Women enjoy sex. Shocking, I know. And just like men, women can have casual hookups without catching feelings, without compromising their self-worth and without caring what anyone thinks.
The guy I hooked up with wasn’t looking to put a ring on my finger, and I wasn’t expecting a bouquet of roses. We both wanted to have fun, and we did. End of story.
Time to Burn the Rulebook
Here’s the thing: the more we play by society’s outdated rules, the more we give power to the idea that women’s bodies and choices are anyone’s business but our own. They’re not. Whether I have one sexual partner or a hundred, the only opinions that matter are mine .
Sex is about pleasure, connection and choice. So the next time someone tries to shame you for living your life unapologetically, remember this: you don’t owe anyone an explanation or a justification for how you choose to enjoy yourself.
For me, sex isn’t just about having fun (though it definitely is fun) - it’s about intimacy, trust and knowing what I want. And I’ll keep living my life on my terms, whether that means a Tinder marathon, a quiet night alone with my vibrator, or absolutely no sex at all. It’s all valid, as long as it’s what you want.
Disclaimer: The content on this account is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as professional advice. Every individual’s journey of self-love, sensuality and intimacy is unique. Always prioritise consent, respect personal boundaries and engage in practices that align with your comfort, values and well-being.