Third Date Truths: The Difference Between Honesty and Transparency
Honesty is one thing, sure. But total transparency? That’s a whole new level. And honestly, it’s a level I haven’t really experienced in past relationships. In the past, I’d only find out the “truth” after it had already unfolded—and usually because I had to dig for the story. Cue Nancy Drew!
Today, though, on my third date with a guy we’ll call “Baby Face” (dubbed by my bestie), we entered the sacred “third date territory.” He decided it was time for a bit of full disclosure and shared something personal that he thought might be an issue in the future. I think he was genuinely surprised when I barely reacted. And while I don’t see it as a deal-breaker, the fact he even brought it up tells me two things: First, he sees potential here. And second, he respects me enough to tell me upfront. The fact that he was honest, without me having to pry, was… well, kind of huge for me.
Being real, I’m not used to getting honesty, so this transparency, this proactive sharing, was actually a big deal for me. In relationships, we often hear things like, “I didn’t tell you because I knew it would upset you,” but in reality, if our partners were just honest from the start, we’d likely feel a lot more secure. It’s not the truth that’s the issue—it’s the deception. Or at least, that’s how it feels to me.
Trust has always been massive for me, probably because I’ve never truly felt I could trust anyone I’ve been with—they’ve always given me reason to question it. And that’s not exclusive to men; women I’ve had romantic interests in have also let me down with their lack of honesty. So today’s open communication? It was new, and it wasn’t until I’d had some time to reflect that I realised how much that level of transparency actually means to me. I felt valued and respected in a way that was, well, refreshing. I’ve often been told I’m “too open and honest,” almost to a fault, so much so that it sometimes lands me in hot water. So maybe I’ve never really grasped the idea of holding things back.
Anyway, things seem to be going well with Baby Face, and I’m sure I’ll have more to share on that front soon! Who knows? Maybe this is just the beginning of a whole new vibe—one where honesty doesn’t need a spotlight because it’s just there. So, here’s to a third date done right and to finding out what happens next. Stay tuned, because I think this one might just surprise me…