Dating in Your 30s: Is the Sea Now Just a Puddle?

So I’m officially well in to my 30s, and while they always say “there are plenty of fish in the sea,” at this age, the sea seems more like a puddle full of bottom feeders!

Dating in your 20s was a breeze. You went out, you met people, and things just happened. But now? I don’t really have the desire to spend my weekends at pubs and clubs. As someone working from home, my social interactions are pretty minimal. So, how do we meet people these days? Enter online dating: Tinder, Hinge, Bumble and beyond. Let me tell you, it’s a jungle out there.

You’ve got the guys just looking for a quick hookup, the ones who are already married (and sneakily searching for “something else”), and the classic “I don’t know what I want” guys (ummm excuse me, you’re 40 and already well an truly showing it, maybe it’s time to figure that out?) I am kind of shocked at how few men are genuinely seeking a relationship. While being in a relationship isn’t everything, I know what I want: a meaningful connection.

For me, connection is everything. I’m a deep-feeling person, and it’s incredibly hard to get to know someone just through texts. But that’s the way things are these days. I’m always pleasantly surprised when a guy actually asks for my phone number instead of, “Do you have Snapchat?” That’s where we’re at, sadly. Don’t get me wrong, I love snapping! It’s fun to share your day, and yes, I’m often known for a sexy snap session. But if I’m genuinely interested in someone, I want them to ask for my number and call me for a real conversation - huge green flag, am I right ladies? But if you’re just asking for my Snap to see my tits? Not gonna happen (well, probably eventually, but I mean, work for it!). And if you ask me out on a proper date? Even better! It doesn’t have to be extravagant; I’m more of a “pizza on the beach” kind of girl than a fancy dinner type. Let’s just skip the constant texting and get to know each other in person.

Of course, we’ve all encountered those lovely matches that go from 0 to “sit on my face” without as much as a proper hello. My usual response: “Has that ever worked for you?” They typically unmatch me right away, but I can’t imagine that line works too often. Time for some of these guys to switch up their strategy!

In recent years, dating has become even more challenging, partly due to the lasting effects of the COVID-19 pandemic. As lockdowns and work-from-home arrangements increased, many people grew accustomed to social isolation, making it harder to re-enter social settings. Social anxiety, even for those who hadn’t experienced it before has risen, and people are now more hesitant or uncomfortable with face-to-face interactions. Studies have shown that returning to “normal” can provoke mixed emotions, with anxiety and uncertainty being common as individuals try to adjust to socialising again. This shift has created a sense of disconnection in dating, where people may feel unsure of how to approach or engage with others .

At the same time, societal dynamics have changed, with more women becoming financially independent and acting as their own “breadwinners.” This can sometimes complicate dating, as traditional gender roles shift and ego or power dynamics may arise when meeting new potential partners. The modern dating scene is not only about finding connection but also navigating evolving expectations, which can sometimes add pressure to romantic interactions.

The truth is, dating in your 30s feels like a whole new ballgame. It’s harder to meet people organically, and the dating pool seems smaller. But I’m still hopeful - and maybe, just maybe, there’s still a decent fish left in a puddle somewhere.