How Your Menstrual Cycle Affects Your Sex Drive
Happy New Year, pleasure seekers!
I rang in New Year’s Day with some girlfriends, soaking up the sunshine, swimming and laughing about all the topics that flow naturally when you're surrounded by your closest gal pals. At some point, our chat turned to sex drives—particularly the curious ways they ebb and flow throughout the month.
For myself and another friend, there are a few days in our cycles where we feel insatiable—like we could jump on a tree branch if it brushed past us. (Relatable, right?) Meanwhile, another friend, who recently gave birth to a beautiful baby, admitted she feels absolutely no desire for intimacy right now.
So, what’s going on here?
The Hormone Rollercoaster
Our sex drives are deeply connected to the rise and fall of hormones during the menstrual cycle. Here’s a quick breakdown of how it works:
Menstrual Phase (Days 1–5): This is when you’re on your period. With estrogen and progesterone at their lowest, many women feel less inclined to get intimate. But for some, the release of endorphins during orgasm can actually help relieve cramps and improve mood, making sex or self-pleasure appealing.
Follicular Phase (Days 6–14): As your body prepares for ovulation, estrogen starts to rise. This can give you a natural mood boost and, for many, an increase in libido. You might feel more confident, energised, and interested in sex.
Ovulation (Around Day 14): This is peak horny time for many women. With estrogen at its highest and testosterone giving a little extra push, your body is biologically primed to want sex—nature’s way of encouraging reproduction.
Luteal Phase (Days 15–28): After ovulation, progesterone takes the lead, often calming things down. For some, this means a drop in sex drive, especially as PMS symptoms like bloating, irritability or fatigue kick in.
What About Postpartum or Other Factors?
For my friend with the 10-week-old baby, her lack of libido makes perfect sense. Hormones like prolactin (which supports breastfeeding) can suppress ovulation and lower estrogen levels, leaving many new mothers feeling less interested in sex. Add to that sleep deprivation, physical recovery and the mental load of caring for a newborn—it’s no wonder sex takes a backseat for a while.
Similarly, stress, medication and individual health conditions can all play a role in how your cycle affects your libido.
Embrace the Fluctuations
The beauty of understanding your cycle is that it helps you embrace its natural rhythms. Feel like a goddess during ovulation? Go with it! Want to cuddle up with yourself during PMS? That’s valid too.
If you're curious about how your own cycle impacts your libido, consider tracking it using an app or journal. I personally use the Flo app. You might discover patterns that help you better tune into your desires—and communicate them to your partner, if you have one.
May the new year bring you a deeper understanding of your body, an embrace of your desires, and of course, a commitment to prioritising pleasure.
Disclaimer: The content on this account is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as professional advice. Every individual’s journey of self-love, sensuality and intimacy is unique. Always prioritise consent, respect personal boundaries and engage in practices that align with your comfort, values and well-being.