Hookups & Horny Scavenger Hunts

Many, many years ago, I somehow matched with a guy on Tinder who lived three hours away on the far South Coast. Now, I have no idea how that even happened—was Tinder drunk that day? Was the algorithm just really rooting for my love life? Who knows. But there he was—a long-haired, tattooed surfer boy, the exact type of man who could make me reconsider my stance on long-distance relationships.

We started chatting, messaging, and calling each other over a number of weeks. We quickly realised we had a lot in common. And by that, I mean a lot of shared kinks. So, despite the logistical nightmare that was the three hour drive, he made the trek up to see me, and let’s just say the “getting to know each other” phase didn’t take very long. And by that, I mean we barely made it through the front door before hitting the lounge room floor.

There’s something to be said about sexual chemistry that is almost overwhelming. The kind where you physically can’t keep your hands off each other. I mean, is there anything hotter than someone completely distracting you while you’re trying to cook dinner? Or having them slide inside you while you’re sunbaking in the yard, broad daylight and all? We had our fun—quite a bit of fun, actually—and met up a few times, both at mine and down near his place. But, as expected, the whole three-hour-distance thing wasn’t exactly sustainable, so we eventually drifted apart, at least in a physical sense.

We stayed friends; And not just “occasional happy birthday on Facebook” friends, but the kind of friends who still message each other about our sex lives years later. Oh, and did I mention? He’s bisexual. And let me tell you, there is something so entertaining about ogling men together. Forget girl talk, this is way better. And so, at some point in our late-night, highly inappropriate conversations, we came up with an idea—missions.

So, what are missions? Well, basically, we started setting up little sexual challenges for each other. Think of it like a horny scavenger hunt, except instead of collecting souvenirs, we were collecting experiences. Like daring him to pick up at a nude beach (yes this actually happened). We’d go on separate adventures, live out the set ‘missions,’ and then debrief like two scandalous spies reporting back to headquarters. It was all in good fun—an exciting little way to be involved in each other’s lives without actually being in them.

Of course, life moved on, we both met other people, and while we remained in contact, the missions eventually faded into history. But recently, we were chatting like two horny gal pals again, comparing notes on Tinder and Grindr meet-ups, and—because we apparently haven’t matured at all—we decided to bring back the missions. So I helped him setup a late night Grindr date which i got to hear all about upon his return.

And just like that, the missions are back in action. His late-night Grindr date? A roaring success—complete with a full debrief that, well, had me feeling some type of way!

There’s something exhilarating about this dynamic we have—two people who were once entangled in each other, now just enjoying the chaos of modern dating from the sidelines.

So, if you ever find yourself swiping aimlessly on Tinder, wondering why the hell you matched with someone three hours away—maybe don’t question it. You never know what kind of adventure it might lead to.